Dear Mom,
There's something I have to tell you. I really need you to read this.
And please, you can't tell Dad. Not yet. Please. I've been wanting to say this for a long time but always felt like it wasn't the time. You know?
Anyway, since you are my mother, I feel like I have to tell you. I mean, I wanted to tell you, but I've always been sort of nervous about it. I'm still nervous about it. But. I need to say it to you because I want to tell you. You. I guess you've noticed that I've been a little distant from you, lately. Sorry for that. It's just that I've been thinking about it, a lot, and wasn't sure how you might react. Okay?
So. I'm Gay.
I hope at this point you're not fanning your face with this trying to catch your breath. I mean, I get the feeling you've known. Did you? I mean, I've seen your face when I 've brought my friends over and I can tell. They're nice people, Mom. Most of them are out to their families. Oh, 'Out' by the way, means 'in the open' not lying. Kind of like I haven't been, you know. And it's been tough to keep this from you. Not so much Dad. I mean I love him and all but, he's not like you. You know. He always balls up his fists at things and gets red and well, you know.
So. Anyway. How are you? Is this okay? I can't apologize. I mean, it's me. And you helped raise me. I'm still the same. You know. Me. It's just somethng has changed. And I can't go back now.
I'm sorry about not having a wedding or anything. But they do have them for Gay people now. Gay.
I know. That word. It doesn't mean femmy, Mom. I mean, there are lots of us. Lots. And a lot of us you sure wouldn't know it if you saw.
Remember that day you saw that hairdresser and waved at him and didn't laugh to me about him? That's when I knew I could probably tell you.
I can't change Mom. I've tried. I tried calling myself bi. Bi means bisexual. Both. Girls and boys.
And this ISN'T ABOUT SEX! God no! I just mean boys for things kept to myself.
Well that sounds dumb. I mean, you know. What I mean is I like girls but only as 'friends'.
God this is difficult. I don't want to hurt you.
I care for you with so much of me. So please don't see this as an attack. I LOVE YOU.
No matter what.
So anyway. Please don't let Dad know. Not yet. We've come this far. I'll tell him myself. Or you. Mabe later. Whichever you decide.
I just had to tell you. I had to get it out so I could live. It was kind of getting to me. I wasn't being me, Mom.
Don't worry about me. I'm pretty strong and am able to take care of myself. I know you would worry if people tried to hurt me. But I'm okay. I have strong friends. They shout back at the haters.
Anyway. I hope you can accept me. I hope you still love me. I hope I am still your son.
Because, you are stilll my mother.
Love
________
There's something I have to tell you. I really need you to read this.
And please, you can't tell Dad. Not yet. Please. I've been wanting to say this for a long time but always felt like it wasn't the time. You know?
Anyway, since you are my mother, I feel like I have to tell you. I mean, I wanted to tell you, but I've always been sort of nervous about it. I'm still nervous about it. But. I need to say it to you because I want to tell you. You. I guess you've noticed that I've been a little distant from you, lately. Sorry for that. It's just that I've been thinking about it, a lot, and wasn't sure how you might react. Okay?
So. I'm Gay.
I hope at this point you're not fanning your face with this trying to catch your breath. I mean, I get the feeling you've known. Did you? I mean, I've seen your face when I 've brought my friends over and I can tell. They're nice people, Mom. Most of them are out to their families. Oh, 'Out' by the way, means 'in the open' not lying. Kind of like I haven't been, you know. And it's been tough to keep this from you. Not so much Dad. I mean I love him and all but, he's not like you. You know. He always balls up his fists at things and gets red and well, you know.
So. Anyway. How are you? Is this okay? I can't apologize. I mean, it's me. And you helped raise me. I'm still the same. You know. Me. It's just somethng has changed. And I can't go back now.
I'm sorry about not having a wedding or anything. But they do have them for Gay people now. Gay.
I know. That word. It doesn't mean femmy, Mom. I mean, there are lots of us. Lots. And a lot of us you sure wouldn't know it if you saw.
Remember that day you saw that hairdresser and waved at him and didn't laugh to me about him? That's when I knew I could probably tell you.
I can't change Mom. I've tried. I tried calling myself bi. Bi means bisexual. Both. Girls and boys.
And this ISN'T ABOUT SEX! God no! I just mean boys for things kept to myself.
Well that sounds dumb. I mean, you know. What I mean is I like girls but only as 'friends'.
God this is difficult. I don't want to hurt you.
I care for you with so much of me. So please don't see this as an attack. I LOVE YOU.
No matter what.
So anyway. Please don't let Dad know. Not yet. We've come this far. I'll tell him myself. Or you. Mabe later. Whichever you decide.
I just had to tell you. I had to get it out so I could live. It was kind of getting to me. I wasn't being me, Mom.
Don't worry about me. I'm pretty strong and am able to take care of myself. I know you would worry if people tried to hurt me. But I'm okay. I have strong friends. They shout back at the haters.
Anyway. I hope you can accept me. I hope you still love me. I hope I am still your son.
Because, you are stilll my mother.
Love
________
Jeff Ballam
Beautifully written. Sounds very similar to the one I actually wrote.
Yesterday at 09:31 ·
Kory White
That is an awesome letter and much like the one I wound up writing. I wonder if there will be a day when letters like those won't have to be written.
Yesterday at 10:14 ·
Dane B. McFadhen
Nope.
Yesterday at 15:33 ·
Lloyd Scott Thornton
Unfortunately, not in our society, and not in our life time Kory.
Quick History Lesson:
Native Americans embraced the "gays", considered two spirits (berdache), capable of seeing through both male and female eyes. Gay Native Americans would become the healers, mediators, singers, and interpreter of dreams. These gay individuals would either take a male partner, or have affairs with many men in the tribe without judgment. While taking on the role of a female in the tribe, gay Native Americans had the strength of a man, so they were highly regarded by the entire tribe.... See More
Enter the Puritans!!! Gay Native Americans were hunted down with dogs by the Christians who first came to America. And, as the word spread from tribe to tribe that packs dogs were being used, Natives began hiding their homosexuals whenever white men came through a village often dressing them as women.
As long as blind faith in religion continues to gain political footing in the United States (at the rate that it has over the last ten years), and the U.S. education system continues to be eroded by conservatives who want to eliminate the Department of Education altogether, acceptance by society will be marginal at best, or it will regress to the point of witch hunts at worst. (see Uganda-"Kill the Gays Bill")!!
Quick History Lesson:
Native Americans embraced the "gays", considered two spirits (berdache), capable of seeing through both male and female eyes. Gay Native Americans would become the healers, mediators, singers, and interpreter of dreams. These gay individuals would either take a male partner, or have affairs with many men in the tribe without judgment. While taking on the role of a female in the tribe, gay Native Americans had the strength of a man, so they were highly regarded by the entire tribe.... See More
Enter the Puritans!!! Gay Native Americans were hunted down with dogs by the Christians who first came to America. And, as the word spread from tribe to tribe that packs dogs were being used, Natives began hiding their homosexuals whenever white men came through a village often dressing them as women.
As long as blind faith in religion continues to gain political footing in the United States (at the rate that it has over the last ten years), and the U.S. education system continues to be eroded by conservatives who want to eliminate the Department of Education altogether, acceptance by society will be marginal at best, or it will regress to the point of witch hunts at worst. (see Uganda-"Kill the Gays Bill")!!
Yesterday at 16:47 ·
See-ming Lee
Is this on your blog somewhere? I wanted to share it but can't do it without a link. Nice work!
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